Lazy Saturday Afternoon

I felt your hair brush the tip of my nose.  Groggily, I half opened an eye.  Your face loomed over mine, brown hair cascading and framing it.

'Hey, I must have conked out.  I'm sorry,' I said, shutting my eyes again.

'Don't be.  You looked so cute, I didn't mind.  We're running a bit late now, though, so you'll have to hurry.'

'Oh.  Oh, okay,' I reached out my hand to pat your leg.  'You're naked,' I said sleepily.

'I'm not the only one.'

I opened my eyes and looked down at myself.  Sure enough, I was naked too.  'Didn't I have clothes on when-?'

'Yes.  But as I said, we're running late.  So, I undressed you.'

'Impressive.'

'I'm a woman of many talents' you winked.  'Now, come on.'  And with that you swung your leg over my head, leaving me face to face with your pussy.  While I am the first to admit that I'm not always the sharpest tack in the drawer after I've just woken up, this was fairly clear.  When someone puts a pussy in front of your face, you eat it.  It'd be rude not to.  So, I went to town.

I noticed you'd shaved again, keeping only the smallest of patches at the top.  I liked it.  I'd've said something, but it's also rude to talk with your mouth full.  My tongue licked your lips, playing along your sensitive skin before diving into you.  I probed, I thrusted, I trilled, all to get at you.  You taste so damn good and thankfully, there was plenty of you to be had.  And have you I did.  I turned my attentions to your clit, which was already red and engorged even though I hadn't even touched it.  Ever so gently, I took your clit between my teeth, not biting it, just holding it in place.  I flicked my tongue over it again and again.

You began to buck wildly on my face.  You swayed back and forth, holding your breasts and moaning.  I reached behind you and held the sweet curve of your ass, keeping you precisely where we both wanted you.  You came, flooding my face with your juices, my tongue trying valiantly the keep up with you.

You sat back, your face meeting mine for a kiss.  'I taste good enough to eat,' you murmured.

'Always,' I kissed you again.

Without breaking off the kiss you worked yourself onto my cock.

'Oh fuck,' I groaned happily.

'If you insist,' you said around my earlobe, which you had in your mouth.  Your hips met mine, mine met yours, phone numbers were possibly exchanged, and they definitely made plans to get drinks later.

I held you close, gazing deep into your eyes as my cock trust deeper into you.  I pulled you in for another kiss.  Our tongues danced playfully between our mouths.

We rolled onto your back in a smooth motion.  You brought your legs up, allowing me greater access.  You clasped my head to your bosom.  I bit your nipple and you squealed in delight.  My breathing grew ragged and you purred in my ear.

'I'm so close,' you gasped.  'Please.  Please.  Make me cum.'

I went on with no abandon.  Your fists were beating my back.  I could feel you stiffen underneath me.  I grew impossibly hard and--

I lay on your chest, listening as your heart slowed down and you got your breathing back under control.  'Oh, honey,' I said.

You reached out to the nightside stand and pulled the clock around to see the time. 

'Whoops.  Looks like we missed the movie.

'How long until the next showing?'

'About an hour and a half.'

I slipped my hand between your already slick legs.  'Well, in that case we have plenty of time...'

Written 11/28/2008

Perhaps You'll Forget You Forgot For Awhile

For some reason, the memory of when I nearly had sex for the first time detached itself from the dark recesses of my mind.  Not the time that I actually lost my virginity mind you.  That would come later.  So to speak.  The summer of 2000 was a strange one.  I am trying to remember if B and I had gotten back together before the end of school.  Not that we were officially back together.  No, that would wait until fall of 2001 for a variety of reasons.  Mostly because I was young and fairly stupid and didn't know what I wanted.  As it turned out, neither did she.  But this is not the time for recriminations slander.  Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Yes, yes, we must have been together.  There was a handjob in the park on Graduation Day.  Or I think it was Graduation Day, it may have been later that summer.  I seem to be turning into a strange, perverted Dylan Thomas.

We skulked around in the shadows, neither of us wanted to admit to our parents what we were doing.  Late night 'coffee runs' when she'd get off work.  Sometimes there was coffee involved, or a milkshake, but mostly it was an excuse to fool around in the backseat of her car.  Her tiny little teal Saturn.  We had played around with hands and mouths and tongues, but we had never gone all the way.  She wanted it to be special and to be in a proper bed and to be when the time was right.  I can't say as I blamed her.  As we later found out, sex was practically impossible in that car.  At least for the heavier set couple.

Which brings us to August.  Her birthday was past.  We were both eighteen.  My family went away for the weekend, but I couldn't go because I had to work while they were away.  I suppose I could have gotten out of it if I wanted to, but then I would have had to go with my family.  Instead, there was an empty house and two curious and horny teenagers.  I was doubly nervous because of my house.  It was, and is, a hellhole.  The sort of clutter and mess that they do programs on The Learning Channel about.  But that didn't matter.  Because we were going to have sex.  On Friday, she came over.  We went into my room and sat on the bed.  And talked.  And kissed.  And fondled.  And...she gave me a blowjob.  It was a very nice blowjob as I recall, but it was hardly the sex I was hoping for.  That we both talked about.

On Saturday, B had to work during the afternoon so I went to a movie.  I went to Godzilla 2000, actually, with Jeremy, Elvin, and Sean.  Dear, dear Sean, who would be dead in October.  Perhaps Emily was there, but I don't recall.  It was great.  There were only a handful of us in the theatre and after about ten minutes, we just started making fun of the movie.  Very loudly.  In MST3K fashion.  This was not surprising.  We were all big fans of both Godzilla and MSTie.  I've scarcely had a better time at the movies.  But I knew that I was going to get lucky that night, so I opted out of going to dinner.  It was about 7 when I got home.  Not very late at all.  And there was a very angry message on the machine from B.  Not saying anything explicit, of course, but very angry.  I called her back and she refused to talk to me a couple of times.  Eventually I was able to get her to talk to me but she refused to come over.  Which was her prerogative.  Years later, when somehow the topic came up in conversation, she told me that mostly she was just angry with herself for not doing anything on Friday and she was taking it out on me.  And that's as good a reason not to have sex as I've heard.

Originally posted 13 Mar 09

Sex With My Hat

I opened the door to a dark house.  “Hello?” I called.  I knew she was home because the car was outside, but that didn’t explain the dark.

 “Back here,” I heard her call from the bedroom.  I walked down the hallway to our bedroom and flipped on the light to find her spread seductively on the bed wearing my fedora and one of my dress shirts.
 “Hi,” said I.  “Um, what’s up?”
 She took a brief glance toward my trousers.  “You are, by the looks of it.  I take it you like?”
 I mumbled something as she walked over to me and pressed her bespectacled face to mine.  I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand, while the other crept slowly around the curve of her ass.  She pulled away suddenly.
 “Nah, ah, ah.  None of that, not yet.”  She spun me around and pushed me onto the bed.  She pulled me up so I was sitting on the edge, my head nuzzled in those wondrous breasts.  The shirt was unbuttoned just far enough so I could see a hint of her nipples.  I moved my head and shifted her shirt a little to get a better angle.  I took one nipple in my mouth and bit it ever so slightly.  Her hand immediately grasped me to her bosom and she moaned in my ear, “Do the other one.”  So, naturally I obliged.
 I held on to her with my left arm as my right hand crept in-between her legs.  Her cunt was already dripping.  I roughly massaged her clit and continued nibbling at her nipples.  She was rapidly losing control, her hands scrambling for purchase on my back.  She tore off my t-shirt and dug her nails into my shoulder.
 “I liked that shirt,” I said, coming up for air.
 “I’ll (pant) buy you (pant) another,” she moaned.
 I slipped finger, then two, then three, inside of her.  My hand worked like a piston, trying to get deeper within.  She came, biting her lip, but I didn’t stop.  I needed to make her shout and when, a moment later, she did; I withdrew my hand and licked the tartness that she had deposited.
 “Your turn,” she groaned, knocking me on my back.  I caught a brief glimpse of my fedora headed in a southerly direction and then heard a zipper being slowly undone.  I realized that it was my zipper when I felt my cock exposed to the open air for a moment.  A very brief moment, as it turned out, because her mouth was soon wrapped around it.
 I inhaled sharply, moving my head so I could see what she was doing.  Her eyes met mine as my fedora bobbed up and down.  She started pumping my cock with her hand while she sucked the top.  My eyes rolled back into their sockets.  Her mouth moved down lower as she began to lick my balls.  At this point I ran my hands through her hair again; never actually holding her head down, but simply applying a certain amount of pressure.  She swallowed my length and I felt her smile around it.  It gave me a great deal of pleasure knowing that she enjoyed this as much as I did.
 As I felt my excitement build, I motioned for her to back off a little.  Unsteadily, I rose to my feet and took my cock in hand.  She knew what I had in mind and flung my fedora across the room accordingly.  She unbuttoned the shirt and let it fall open, at last revealing her breasts to full view.  She started playing with her clit, the sight of which drove me wild.  I couldn’t contain myself anymore and sprayed my cum across her face and chest.  I shot five or six times, each time leaving a different trail on her.
 She wiped her glasses clean and surveyed the situation.  Seeing a bit near her breast, she rubbed my cum into her nipple like it was lotion or something.  She ran her tongue across her lips and lapped up some cum that had landed there.  “Mm,” she said as she stood up.  “I think I should wear your clothes more often."

Originally posted Friday, March 04, 2005

In Which Introductions are made and the Topics Contained Therein are Covered

Hello! So, this is going to become my little repository of various smutty things I've posted around the internet for the last six years on a variety of different blogs. But I'll gather them all here. Some of them are pretty good. Others are laughably bad. Some of it is real, others pure fantasy. They'll probably be marked as such. So, yeah. If you enjoy, leave a comment. If you don't, I don't need it. I already know...

And if you know where the title came from, you are amazingly cool and I love you already...